Where I Want to Be

Why is being an adult so hard? I feel like the past month has been one thing after the other. First we had cold after cold for over three weeks and missed church and other things, meaning that we were stuck in the house quite a bit. That's not a good thing for people who do well being out and around other people.

I haven't talked much about this house we're renting mainly because it's quite the aggravation. Remember, when we moved here we had just had Avery so she was almost three weeks old when we arrived. Buying a house would have been a little more on our plate than we needed so renting was the way the went. We open the door to the house and I could already smell the cat of the previous tenant. The cat smell just got worse. Supposedly these carpets had been cleaned...not believing that since we did it ourselves and the carpets looked a little better. That's just the beginning. After fighting to replace a cat pee infested carpet, the ice maker fixed, and then a gas leaking stove finally replaced after seven months and the gas being shut off twice...still more stuff is coming up. I HATE RENTING! We worked on this house the entire time Andy was off of work when we moved in (which was also when he had to take and pass his PT boards), he worked all the way up to when he left for Iraq, and there are still issues coming up. Now we have a moss infested yard that we are responsible to correct because it falls under maintenance and the estimate I got today was $560 for someone else's yard.

Last week I went to the dentist and found out I have been grinding my teeth and in result have cracked several molars so those now need to be crowned. FYI: being military doesn't give you free dental or vision insurance (just healthcare). Our dental plan won't cover but about a quarter of the three crowns I now need and three fillings.

This post isn't about money. This post is about how I am just tired. I feel like since Andy left there are weeks that things go okay and some weeks where things are really good. BUT then there are these weeks that I feel like things keep piling up and up and there's no end to the craziness. If it's not enough to just take care of the girls! I am only including the big stuff...but it's like I just don't even want to get up in the morning right now. I really hope that this will all change soon because I'm not really sure how many more of these days I can take. Can I wake up here?



instead of here?



It's almost six months since he left but even though that sounds exciting...it's been that long since I wasn't here by myself doing this and that long since Andy last saw the girls. When you think about it in that way, it's really sad to me. This is definitely wearing on me each and every week. I know this post doesn't make me look like a "strong woman" but right now I'm just trying to survive.