(I know---I'm finally writing about this.) We not only found out our assignment was changing, but also that Andy would be deploying extremely fast with the new one. The new assignment in itself is very exciting. Fort Lewis in Washington state is where we'll be headed after the birth of our new baby girl. So the timeline looks a little like this:
January: house on the market (hopefully to sell by April)
April 21stish: baby born
Approximately 14 days later: take off towards WA (I should be flying with the two babies while Andy drives there)
May: getting settled in, Andy has to get credentialed and get paperwork/tests completed
June: Andy signs into new unit
August: deploys for 12 months to Iraq (as of now...hopefully no longer)
This is plan A. Depending on what actually happens with our house selling, then we will be able to plan when I move and when he moves and the moving of our household goods. Thankfully we've had a few people offer to help drive with Andy.
What a whirlwind! At first I felt a little out of breath, like someone hit me from behind with a 2x4. We were all told that PTs would be given at least a year of experience time, so I really NEVER thought this quick of a deployment was even possible. Enter the ARMY where all things are possible. Luckily for me, all things are also possible with God. I know that God is in control of this....the birth of our baby, our assignment, his deployment, our home selling, etc. etc. etc.
The thing that makes me upset about this is I am thinking of when Andy was in El Paso for his internship and Kinsey and I were home apart from him for about seven weeks. I remember every time she would do something and I would think to myself, "He is missing this." That is the really hard part. He's going to miss all the milestones of this next baby's first year of life. I'm pretty worried about Kinsey. She KNOWS her Daddy and the point she'll be at when he leaves, in my opinion, will be hard for her because she won't understand what is happening. If anyone has been through or knows someone who has been through this similar of a situation and you have any good ideas of how to keep connected with a Daddy while deployed, please share with me your ideas. I've already been searching for ideas and talking to people. We're adults...We can handle this separation. After all, Andy and I know how long 12 months is...we've been there before. (Korea 2002-2003) Babies don't know separation. I know Kinsey will be aware of "where is Daddy?" She already gets so excited for him to come home from work. I do have to say I'm very lucky he won't be missing the birth of our baby and he won't have to return to work for a good while after the baby is born. That is one thing I never wanted to worry about him missing, so that in itself is a blessing.
Please keep us in your prayers! Please keep our small children in your prayers. People do this everyday, so I know we can do it; I just am excited to see how God will work through our situation.
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13 comments:
So many new things! We will be praying for you for sure. Evan's brother was in Fort Lewis but is now being stationed in Arizona. He has had two assignments in Iraq too.
Hi, I found your blog through Rebecca, and I wanted to tell you that I'm going through a deployment with two little girls right now. My husband left in June when my girls were 17 months and 4 months and will be gone for 15 months (now they are 2 and 11 months) I don't know what Andy's situation will be while overseas, but video-chatting has really really been a god send for us. My husband is able to get to the internet cafe every few days and we get to see him for 30 minutes. It really allows him to see the girls growing up, he actually saw our younger daughters first step (Is that God's timing or what?). I also have daddy dolls (hugahearo.com) and have made a TON of huge posters on shutterfly of him and have them all over the house at their eye level. And I of course upload a lot of videos for him to watch from over there. I will be praying that the situation changes and that you won't need to use any of this advice. Hope this helps you!
-Mari Higerd
Steve was gone for Christians 1st year so while I don't know the affects on a child since Christian wasn't aware yet, we did do teleconferencing through Freedom Calls (www.freedomcall.org). It is a free service that is offered to military families and most bases in Iraq/AfG have Freedom Call centers. The organization hooks up their polycom system via your computer and then you schedule with them when you and your husband will meet (by talking to your husband of course - what works for him). It was great, we did it twice a month and it was clear. Plus it's free and easy to use!
God does have things in control even if things can seem hectic. We are in the same chaotic boat with me trying to sell the house alone, purchase a new one and move to Columbus and waiting for Steve to finish school. Granted we don't have a deployment coming up so your family will be in our prayers!
By the way, we also took videos (over his R&R) of Steve reading Christian books that I showed Christian later on for the rest of the deployment. You could video tape some now and then show it to Kinsey every night so it's like daddy is reading to her before she goes to sleep.
We're definitely praying for y'all!! I like all the ideas you've gotten so far. I have another one for you.
For a few weeks before Andy leaves, take some of his undershirts (that he won't need overseas) and save them in gallon-size zip-lock baggies (like 12+ of them). Then, once a month (or more often, if you want), you can open up the zip-lock and take out the shirt that now smells like him. I would personally slip it over Lorelai's pillow, but if K isn't using one, then maybe put it on a teddy bear that she loves. That way, the smell of him is still there. I know it might sound silly, but our sense of smell is tightly linked to our memories. Have you ever smelled something and thought "wow, that reminds me of when my mom used to cook us [enter dish here] when we were kids!"
Anyway, along with all the other ideas, I think you'll be set!!!
not sure if I was clear.....but have Andy wear the undershirts all day first, THEN put them in bags. Not like you wouldn't have figured that out.
Oh Alyssa...even though I knew all of this about Andy deploying, it still hit me all over again! But remember this, that you are and will remain in God's hands through this as will your two girls. You are a strong women and that will filter down to your children! And you are supported by friends and family! I am amazed at the above comments...fellow army wives who have been through it coming to your side to offer their support! What an amazing community that we've been blessed with! Love you!
Alyssa...You know ya'll will be in our prayers. Take it, starting today...one day at a time, enjoy your time with Andy and Kinsey. I see all your friends know what a strong person you are...you are very lucky to have such a network of love. Take care of yourself! When are we going to know the new baby girls name? We love all the pictures!
We love you all!
Aunt Kathy and Tony
Alyssa, I am praying for you as I know you have been praying for me. God is so awesome and I know every day that He is in control! I could not make it through my days without HIM! Well, I was going to suggest the internet camera too. This is such a great thing and Andy could see you all while he is gone! Sounds like you have some good suggestions from your network! Love you all very much. Aunt Janet
You know you and your growing family will always be in our thoughts and prayers!! I'm glad you have the faith and strength of God to help you through this upcoming change. It looks like you have a lot of really neat suggestions. People can be so creative!!
Alyssa,
Hey there hon!
I love all the dynamite tips,
you gotten thus far.
It's been a long time, since I saw a car pull up, to my airbase house,
to take my father, to a plane, going to vietnam. But, I know having a mother, filled with faith,
an Godly attributes, shaped, and
molded, and formed me, to be the
person I am today. That was forty
three years ago. That veteran,
"Daddy", is now ninty four !Just
remember, trials and diffulties,
aren't in our lives, to break or
crumble us, and cause ruin.
But to move us to the next level;
growth. And with that, we become wise.
I love you, an your awesome,
Aunt Helen
I can't say thank you enough for all the great ideas and words of encouragement (whether by blog or email). These are definitely comments I'll be able to look back at on the day that Andy leaves and read again to give me strength. Please keep them coming if anyone thinks of anything or anyone else desires to post. I just wanted to say a quick thank you because I really appreciate your comments! Love you all!
Hi, Alyssa:
I'm not sure if I ever introduced myself, so here I am again just in case. I'm Uma, Rebecca's friend from NC. Sesame Street put out a video for children of deployed parents a little while back to help them understand what was going on. I have a copy somewhere in one of the moving boxes and can get a bunch more through our ACS here in Germany. I know your little girl is probably a little young, but it's good to have on hand anyway. Let me know where I can mail it if you would like a copy. Also, I was going to send you Mari's link, but I see that she already beat me to the punch. That is one amazing woman/wife/mom, I tell you.
Remember that you are not alone. As corny as it may sound, the Army really bonds not only the soliders together but also those who love them (especially the spouses). We've never met, but I can completely relate to your situation. I'd love to check in with you from time to time if you don't mind. Good luck with the move. I heard Ft. Lewis was really nice.
I love you so very much.
I have no advice, just the peace that our Savior will be holding you & Andy, Kinsey, & little baby's hands as you walk through this journey together.
I guess it is your turn to be Superwoman! (Again)
Love, Your sister
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